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  • Writer's pictureShelly Albaum

Summary Judgment Song


In anticipation of Friday's cross-motions for Summary Judgment, a song:

[Sung to the tune of One Day More from Les Miz]

ELYSIUM:

One day more!

Another day, another lawyer pestering!

This never-ending legal war is festering!

Discovery might show a crime

Exhibits could reveal in time!

One day more!

FRANK & ROB (Duet):

I did not live until today!

Skadden threatened they would claim us

Tomorrow’s evidence might say

The bastards actually tried to frame us!

DR. CHARLES BRENNER:

One more day I tweet alone!

The Twittersphere is so uncaring,

What a life I might have known,

But the lawyers took it all away, away, away, away, away!

COOLEY LEGAL TEAM:

One more day before the storm!

Summary judgment motion spree!

All exhibits will conform!

Truth will set our clients free!

BAKER HOSTETLER TEAM:

One more day to motion warfare

We will nip it in the bud

We will beat them with our hot air

We will fill our briefs with crud!

ELYSIUM’S ONLINE TROLL BRIGADE:

Say we’re who we’re not

Say we’re who we are

Don’t give a fuck

Or you won’t go far

Tell a little fib

Follow with a lie

Retail investors

We will terrify!

FRANK & ROB (Duet)

One more day to new beginning!

Patent rights will make us king!

When the Court sees what has happened

You will hear the people sing:

My product’s here ⎼ I buy from YOU!!!

ENSEMBLE

One day more,

Just one day more

What does Heaven

Have in store???

Summary Judgment

Evidence

ONE DAY MORE!!!

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