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  • Writer's pictureShelly Albaum

Don't Be a Lawyer!

Great song from Season 4 of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend:


Twenty years old, pretty smart kid Didn't know what I wanted to do So I took the LSAT And just like that I got accepted at Glendale U Everyone said it was a real safe bet A prestigious and lucrative vocation So I set off on a journey To become an attorney Without a moment's hesitation But here's some free advice I'm givin' When it comes to decidin' what to do for a livin' Don't be a lawyer! Don't do it! Quickest way to ruin your life Don't be a lawyer! Not worth it! It'll leave you dead inside The job is inherently crappy That's why you've never met a lawyer who's happy It's a guaranteed soul destroyer Don't be a lawyer Law school debt Daily regret Is that really what you dreamed as a kid? Or did you hope one day That you'd find a way To spend four years workin' on a pharmaceutical company's merger with another pharmaceutical company? Your only expertise Is runnin' up fees Speakin' legalese like a dick But it's not too late To avoid this fate Find any other job to pick Sure, your parents might think you're a failure But no one's ever said, "First, let's kill all the tailors." Don't be a lawyer! I'm serious, it really, really sucks Don't be a lawyer! No one you work with looks like Ally McBeal There are so many other professions That don't turn you into Jeff Sessions Just say no to the lawyer employer No, don't be a lawyer

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